frying and flying

I am happy to report I have mastered my feel of frying. I used to use too much oil with appallingly greasy results. Or I used too little and the smoke detectors would go bananas. Then I started using olive oil...which burns very fast. Solution? Lard!


But what I really want to talk about is mastering my fear of flying! A long time ago, a good friend - who incidentally died of liver cirrhosis, so obviously he wasn't free of his own issues - told me the formula for conquering the fear of flying was simple: "To beat it, you must fly it" It's odd that even though I have led such a peripatetic life and have flown more than most people, I would still dread each trip anew. I would fidget in my seat, sweat profusely, panic at every bump, run to the washroom every 20 minutes (always chose an aisle seat and still do) and generally felt miserable for the duration of the trip. This was not so bad flying, say, from Toronto to Boston but ocean crossings were horrible. I'd lose a couple of pounds every time just via copious sweating.

The solution presented itself for an unexpected reason. As a sufferer from a rare disease called "cochlear hydrops", my doctor recommended I take a decongestant when I fly...to relieve possible pressure on the middle ear, which might (this is disputed in medical circles) contribute to cochlear pressure in the inner ear and cause hearing and balance problems. I took the good doc's advice with the result that I felt pleasantly sleepy during the flight. Suddenly finding myself dozing off instead of white-knuckling the arm rests filled me with a sense of triumph and well-being. So, on the next flight I doubled the dose, resulting in the flight attendant having to wake me up upon landing. The last few flights I haven't even taken the drug - though I do have it handy just in case. I find that having flown a few times in a relaxed mood got rid of the panic and dread that I had felt for decades before. Now I take off, land and fly through turbulence without lifting my eyes up from my book (currently reading "The Fear of Frying" bu Josh Fried) I say: more power to Big Pharma, baby!