A CASTLE OF MY DREAMS

moravian farm recording from june 15 2008

2008-10-28T12:37:00.000-07:00

some tunes

2008-05-12T11:28:00.001-07:00

Here's a medley of tunes Bohemian Swing played last January at the Dominion on Queen in Toronto. This medely was submitted to a folk-ish music fest but was deemed not "ethnic" enough. Judge for yourselves

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekTM2no8DJk

(tried to embed...didn't woik)

early spring

2008-04-21T14:00:00.000-07:00

When people have nothing to talk about, they talk about the weather. Or about the Toronto Maple Leafs, which is like talking about nothing. Experience has taught me never to talk politics and religion with friends. Conversly, it's a very good idea to talk religion and politics with non-friends because at the end of the conversation, you'll dislike each other even more deliciously. Politics, just like religion, is irrational - though unlike religion, it seems rational and bears all the hallmarks of feasible logic...to start with! That's because it's only your own view that is rational, whereas the other person's view is total bullshit. And so, let's talk about weather.

A few years ago, I was in Prague in April and came back home in early May. Prague was sunny and green, the fragrance of lilac permeating old courtyards, chestnut trees in full glory, pigeons starting to fatten up. Conversly, the landing at Pearson was a shock. It was about 10 degrees, a cold drizzle and fog hugged the runways and when we reached home, nary a green leaflette was in sight. Only one scrawny bush in front of our house tried valiantly to sprout its yellow flowers. It took another two weeks (till mid-May) to catch up to where Prague had been a month before.

Well, this year, we went through a winter that must have been sent to us by some zealous demon. Or maybe Al Gore. Snow up the yin-yang and up to your eyeballs, right up till the end of March. And then suddenly BANG and spring gallops in. The last few days have been fantabulous and wonder of wonders: the trees in my street are beginning to sprout plumpy little buds and even the odd magnolia is starting to show its mettle. Only once before do I remember spring arriving this early (despite the dire predictions of "experts", btw....more below) I think that was in 1985. I recall taking my ex and two daughters to the airport and driving back, the nature all around me already in full dress and the date was May 1. And so, last night, we had our first deck BBQ with satay chicken, fried rice (my own secret recipe which involves oil and rice), veggies, Ceasar salad and a glass of chilled PG (fellow wine snobs will understand)

Now, the experts: I've been tracking "expert" financial/economic advice for the last few years and here's my conclusion. Do what George Costanza did on Seinfeld: THE OPPOSITE. I tells ya, you can't go wrong. When the "experts" predicted our dollar to fall below 50 c U.S., it began its meteoric rise. When they said there was no real estate bubble, house prices began to decline. When they said our economic indicators were strong, we began to tank. And when they said our decline would continue for at least another two years, the economy started firing on all cylinders. In short: economic "experts" are well paid dufuses ("dufi"?). They have well tailored suits and brains full of crapola. There's a reason for it: there is no such thing as an ECONOMY. There are millions of micro-economies in each country: families, individuals, villages, towns, clubs etc...Yes, there are broad trends but precise predictions are an idiot's game. So no prediction from me. I am no idiot. I'm a musician. So I must be a genius.

bank job

2008-04-12T23:30:00.000-07:00

It's a funny thing...so often reviews and reviewers just plain get things wrong. If I had read some of the reviews about the movie "The Bank Job" before heading out tonight with the DW, I would have stayed home and watched some insipid reality show on TV. As it, I luckily hadn't read any crap on IMDB and as a result saw one of the best movies I've seen in ten years. The pace is fast and furious, the period (early 1970's in London) well portrayed. The bad guys are bad to the bone and the good guys are only slightly bad. A good soundtrack and an edge-of-your-seat thriller with Cockney accents, a phenomenal bank heist and some stomach churning torture scenes. I'd rank this up there with another excellent gangster movie I saw earlier this year, "American Gangster" and very close to my all time favourite "Pulp Fiction", though perhaps not quite as enormously intelligent and intricate, and definitely a lot less self-referential, than PF. A delicious twist is that this movie is based on real events. Almost makes you want to believe the conspiracy nuts. Rush out and see it. And don't read the IMDB reviews - judge for yourself.

2008-04-08T15:00:00.000-07:00

Whoa! Hard to believe I haven't written anything in almost three months. My last entry sounded like I had it SO together....but the rest of the winter was a biatch. Too much snow for human and canine.

Talking of too much snow....yesterday, as I drove home from my local supermarket, negotiating the winding, hilly streets of my neighbourhood (yeah, like I live in San Francisco!), I saw an elderly oriental lady chipping at the remnantes of a snow bank in her driveway. What a crazy, silly thing to be doing - hacking at the last two inches of ice when it's 60 degrees outside and sunny and what ice and snow is left will be gone within 24 hours anyway. Does this sort of activity come down to people simply having nothing to do?

Back in February, I played at a big gala gig at the Royal York hotel. A fun gig - except one thing. There was a silent auction and I couldn't help but bid on an acoustic guitar. It looked so pretty, a little thin Ovation imitation. Couldn't resist. I ran it up all the way to...nah, I can't tell you. I'm ashamed. So, I bring the thing home and it turns out to be an unplayable piece of plastic garbage. It took me an hour to file down the saddle to just be able to play a G chord. Absolutely, positively, THE worst guitar I ever played. So today, I took it down to Capsule (a great store, well worth checking out) to have them consign it for me. They were very reluctant to defile their store with this piece of junk but eventually took it. If it sells, I'll make $40. Waaaaaaaaay less than what I paid. If Jews are supposed to be good businessmen, I am the honourable exception.

Yesterday, I sat down to write a ballad. A great jazz ballad. The greatest jazz ballad ever...to rival My Funny Valentine. I'll let you know how it goes - but so far I only have 16 mediocre bars. Very mediocre...although I did insert some very hip chords. So hip, I don't even get them. The tune is called "One Day in Early Spring". If it doesn't go as ballady as it should, I'll rename it "I Sprung One Day Too Early"

Au revoir....I'll try to open you more often, dear diary

mid winter, no blahs

2008-01-15T11:00:00.000-08:00

A slow, light snow is falling. Just what winters were meant to be (in German fairy tales) No wind, no hard frost, just puffy flakes and dogs frolicking in the ravine. And glorious whiteness all around.

Christmas was fun. My wife takes excellent care of my wardrobe, not letting me become a dowdy middle-aged fart (well not as far as clothes are concerned, anyway) I got a sharp new suit, a couple of shirts and some other smaller items. In retrun, I gave her a new bag, gloves - all white. And a bluetooth earpiece for her BlackBerry. We ate turkey leftovers and chocolate for about ten days. I weigh 20 pounds more than at this time last year. I LOVE capitalism.

I haven't been paying much attention to the news lately, except the Human Rights Commission fiasco with Ezra Levant. The man is a true hero. I hope that the nation wakes up and that we get rid of this vestige of totalitarianism, called HRC. Any sentence that starts with "Human rights..." is liable to be full of some leftie crap. I believe in individual rights - freedom of speech etc... - not in the rights of some groups not to be offended. Read Ezra's blog if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

I did watch a bunch of hockey of the Christmas holiday, more specifically Canada's juniors who were once again magnificent in winning the World Cup for the under 19's. Strange thing was that there were more Canadian fans in the stands than Czechs, even though the championship took place in Czecho.

May your year be happy, healthy and filled with joy. Rejoice in your libery and defend it wherever you can. Rejoice in hockey, too. And in chocolate!!

poll

2007-12-01T13:48:00.001-08:00

Opinion Polls & Market Research

exhausted

2007-11-26T10:30:00.000-08:00

This is the most tired I've been in weeks, perhaps months. Usually six hours of sleep are sufficient for me and I'm up at 7 or 7:30, checking my email, writing, composing, then walking Hugo and continuing my work day. This past weekend has been extremely exhausting. I've been gigging non-stop since Thursday. Had a major concert on Friday, two gigs on Saturday, then topped it off with a four set marathon at the Swan and Firkin last night. I could hardly stand upright when I got home...had a bite to eat, then fell into a stupor of a sleep and slept for eight and a half hours. I can't remember last time I slept this long. And when I woke up this morning, I didn't feel all that refreshed and still am groggy two hours later. But I wouldn't want to do anything else, no matter how exhausting live performing gets after the age of 50.

Remembrance Day

2007-11-01T14:15:00.000-07:00

Despite the treasonous bleatings of the likes of Jack Layton, despite the insidious relativism of the 21. century, despite the protestations of the champagne lefties, the chattering classes and the media pundits - wars will be won and evil will be supressed, if only temporarily - by young, brave men and women who fight, who do instead of talking and who persevere instead of grumbling. This is in memory of the brave soldiers of the past and present:

They went with songs to the battle, they were young,

Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.

They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,

They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We will remember them.

They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;

They sit no more at familiar tables at home;

They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;

They sleep beyond Englands foam.

Laurence Binyon (1869-1943)

first I laughed....

2007-10-12T11:45:00.000-07:00

....then I cried, then laughed again. Al Gore, that swollen blob of self-righteousness, the man whose house burns more electricity than the capital of Iceland, the man who flies around in a private jet, then spreads fear and panic about "climate change" (yes, I'm using quotes. If the war on terror is the "war on terror", then fugging climate change is "climate change"), this greasy snake oil salesman has won the Nobel Peace Prize. Exactly how has Al Gore contributed to world peace? I wasn't exactly thrilled when the grizzled old terrorist Arafat won it - but at least the world perceived him as a contributor to peace (as opposed to the killer of children which was his real avocation) His prize was a recognition of that perception. But Al Melting Icebergs Gore? Like so much else in our lives, the Nobel ~~Piss~~ Peace Prize has become a meaningless tool of political correctness, a symbol of an age where calling things for what they are must be avoided at all costs but no political capital is spared at carressing the egos of those who seem to be advancing the fashionable causes. Congratulations, Nobel ~~Piss~~ Peace Prize committee! You have done yourselves proud. You can now sleep soundly in the knowledge that thanks to Al Gore, ~~piss~~ peace will now spread around our planet like a soft blanket of pacifist dreams. And no trees will die in the process.

2007-10-10T00:30:00.000-07:00

America is a weird and wonderful place. Most big cities are great, full of energy and innovation. The country is a different story altogether: a throwback to the 19th century - guys with long hair and tattoos, rifles slung over their shoulder (well, ok, we only saw one with a rifle but still...) As I have written before, it's a very self-contained world. And what's with all the incredibly overweight people? You never see any of them on "Grey's Anatomy"! The hotel clerk at the last hotel we were staying at was a complete moron. "No, I cain't change yo reservation - if you made it over the innernet" "Do you have any non-smoking rooms available?" "I cain't change yo reservation - if you made it over the innernet" "Well, I couldn't have possibly booked a smoking room, since I quit smoking in 1984" "I cain't change yo reservation - if you made it over the innernet" "How about if I pay you extra for it?" "I cain't change yo reservation - if you made it over the innernet" Maybe he was just a robot with a greasy forehead and zits to make him look human.

The drive home was tiring but beautiful. Once again, we passed through stunning mountains and some historic Civil War battlefields in Virginia, along route 250 - the most gorgeous scenic route you can imagine, especially in early October on a sunny day. Probably not recommended in the winter, though: very twisty, steep climbs and sharp curves.

Surprisingly, the wait at the Canadian border wasn't too long. As soon as we crossed the border, we headed for the nearest Swiss Chalet. It was delicious. Toronto looks like a huge concrete megalopolis compared with anywhere in the South. There are fewer trees here and no mountains. But boy, oh boy, one visit to Loblaws and you know we are a "world class city" :)

Pics from the trip to be found here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13156129@N02/

mountains

2007-10-06T21:00:00.000-07:00

We're in Asheville, NC, smack dab in the middle of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Planning on driving the famous Blue Ridge Parkway tomorrow, doing all the touristy things, maybe a bit of hiking too and most definitely lots of picture snapping. It looks like Switzerland with a good dash of Dodge City here. Asheville itself has been gentrified and I am surprised at how clean and big city-like it looks.

I've given up on American cable news. Fox, CNN, CNBC, it's all the same crap. There is no such thing as "news". There is only the presidential election. Maybe if terrorists bombed Paris or London, American cable news would notice. Anything short of that - fuggedaboutdit. It's all Obama all the time and all Hillary all the time. Is Obama wearing his US flag pin on his lapel? Is he patriotic enough? Is Bill the driving engine behind Hillary's behind? Is Rudy too fruity-friendly? Is Mitt full of grit? Poor people down here, having to endure this trial by cable for a full two years!!!

On the whole, Canadian supermarkets are way better than what I've seen here in the south. The choice of bakery products alone puts the local marches to shame. Lots of cereal choices, though. Geez, if only we could import their energy, vavoom and weather.

fine day in the south

2007-10-05T23:00:00.000-07:00

Well, finally a nice day down here in Charleston, y'all! Woke up to weak sunshine and though the clouds threatened, rain never mat erialized. We decided to do the touristy stuff today: drove downtown and walked through Market Street, which actually is a market. The wares are fairly skimpy - weaved baskets and trinkets. But it was nice to see old black ladies actually weaving. We plonked down $20 each for a horse/buggy ride which was fun in a hokey kind of way. Our guide was a very nice lady in her 50's, 12th generation Charlestonian. Some of the old houses downtown look amazing. The locals tell us that even as recently as 20 years ago, this place was so crime infested that any downtown activity was severly restricted. It took the black/Jewish police chief, Reuben Goldberg to clean the place up. The whole downtown area does look very pretty, though I still have doubts about its commercial vibrancy, despite what the natives claim. The feel of the city is really great...the humid southern air, the smiling, talkative people, the superb food! Yeah, we lunched at Hyman's again. Best fish ever!

Since the sun was shining, we took a dip in the ocean after returning to the hotel. It was amazing. The water was quite warm and the beach here is second to none. I realized that the last time I had swum in salt water was in Israel in 1989. I dipped my feet into the Pacific two years ago in Los Angeles but it was too cold to swim in. After the swim (and after my lunchtime beer at Hyman's), I drifted off for a two hour nap.

We're off to the Blue Ridge Mountains tomorrow. Overall, what strikes me more than anything else is the Americans' pride in their history and heritage and the colour of everyday life. People simply seem happier. I don't know if it's the weather....it's just national character. People in Toronto seem closed, certainly much less talkative and - I hate to say this - just more depressed. I wish we could be as proud as the Americans. It is high time form our school system to teach Canadian history and to instill the idea in our kids that there is more to Canadian identity than hockey. Or healthcare (what a joke!)

hyman's seafood

2007-10-04T12:11:00.000-07:00

The more I travel in the U.S., the more I begin to understand the Americans' sense of exclusiveness. To many Canadians - and others - this often seems like arrogance. I don't think that's what it is. Americans live in this absoluetly vast country (and I don't just mean geographically, like Canada, but also population wise) that overlows with everyhing and anything life has to offer. They have the snow and the sea and the tropics and the desert, gambling and the fun life in Vegas, snorkeling in Hawaii, horse riding in Montana and word class theatre in New York. And that's just a fraction of it. Americans are uneducated about the rest of the world out of a sense of naivite, not because they look down on other people. In fact, I find that they're often embarassed about their "ignorance", prefacing statements with words like "Well, what do you want, I'm an American". They travel in a universe called America and do so with zest, energy and power. And like a powerful bear, they sometimes break things in their path - out of blissful ignorance or miscalculation, because they're simply not on top of what's happening elsewhere, outside of the good ship U.S.A.

Had lunch at Hyman's Seafood in downtown Charleston today. Without a doubt, the best fish I've ever eaten. Very affordable, too. We had a couple of glasses of fine California Pinot Grigio with it and paid a total of $35. Excellent value. Then went down to their gift store (yep, a resto with a gift shop!) and bought a couple of T-shirts at $4 each. Btw, presidents and famous entertainers have eaten at Hyman's. There are signed plates on their walls. One of them says: "Great chow! I feel GOOD!...signed James Brown"

Still pissing with rain, damnit. Why couldn't we bring some fine Ontario fall weather down here?

charleston real estate

2007-10-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

Went to see some properties with the help of a friendly local agent. Wow! A beautiful 1 bed condo can be had for around 100K. This is when the cdn and the us dollar are at par! The market here is sluggish and they offer all sors of incentives. One of the properties we saw was 5 minutes from the beach and all had gorgeous landscaping, palm trees and the rest of it. Similar properties in T.O. sans the palm trees would go for 350K. We are now very seriously contemplating a purchase down here.

Downtown Charleston is quaint, old and charming. Whether it actually has any dynamism and life has yet to be seen....we had a disappointing, expensive lunch at a place called Cafe Cafe. The service sucked and the food blew (or is it "blowed"?)

charleston

2007-10-03T03:09:00.000-07:00

Made it down to Charleston. The last stretch of about 100 km on highway 26 seemed endless. The highway runs through what looks like an alley of cypres trees and the view never changes. When we finally emerged into Charleston rush hour traffic, it was almost a relief.

Got settled in our hotel on Isle of Palms, which simply gorgeous. We have a view of the Atlantic from our window and the beach is 30 meters away. So far, it's been raining and thundering all the time, so not exactly beach walk weather but we're keeping our fingers crossed!

Had a very fine (and expensive) meal here at the hotel last night. Americans seem mile ahead of Canadians when it comes to accomodating diners with special needs. My low sodium request was received with smiles and completely honoured

on the road

2007-10-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

Driven 880 clicks today from T.O. to Fayetteville, WV. There was about a 25 minute delay at the border in Buffalo but the customs chap was pleasant and quite civilized and waved us through. The drive down has been spectacular. Both Pennsylvania and West Virgina are blessed with gorgeous mountains, dense woods and breathtaking vistas. Makes the drive easier. We are ensconsed in a nice hotel here but the locals at Wendy's (I only dared buy the baked potato) were right out of central casting, dead ringers for Cletus Delroy Spuckler one and all!

Tomorrow we'll have a quick look at the white water river here and more of the truly magnificent scenery before heading down to Charleston, SC. I will be blogging about the trip frequently but only adding pics when I get home. Toodles!

Victor Borge

2007-09-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a very long time and my blogging has been on hold. Still is! In the meantime, here is a clip from - in my very unhumble opinion - the very best comic of the 20th century, Maestro Victor Borge.

contrast

2007-08-08T14:00:00.000-07:00

I watched two TV shows last night - one on Bravo! and one on TLC. The Bravo! show was captivating and I gobbled up every second. The TLC show was also captivating but in a repulsive, an accident-you-can't-look-away-from sort of way. The Bravo! show was an excellent documentary about Canadian jazz/blues/roots legend, Jackie Washington. Jackie is an unbelievable character: a true natural performer. Self-taught on guitar and piano, Jackie sings hundreds, if not thousands of songs in a plaintive, wailing tenor, accompanying himself in a rough-hewn style that perfectly fits his personality. A smile never leaves his face. He was born the grandson of slaves in Canada and has lived all his life in and around Hamilton, ON, even refusing to travel to the U.S. until 1999. Jackie is in his mid-80's and still performs regularly, most often with Ken Whitley and Mose Scarlett. In his youth, he travelled across Canada and worked as a porter for CN Railways. It is quite obvious from every single interview with anyone who has known Jackie that this man has been a ray of sunshine in everybody's life. He smiles and laughs infectiously and makes everyone around him smile as well. He makes friends easily, loves to talk about his music, is completely unassuming and modest and loves life despite various fairly severe ailments he suffers. Jackie also happens to have a photographic memory: he remembers every important date, every face he's ever seen, every song he's ever heard, carries all his music around with him in his head. I've used the word "legend" to describe him and that is indeed what he is. Like someone said on the show: if everyone was like Jackie, there would be no wars. Jackie knows how to diffuse every situation with a smile and a song and he's disarmed everyone who has met him - friend or foe. I am willing to bet that anyone who has met him, have had their lives enriched - kids and adults alike. I know that mine's been enriched just by watching this show.

Conversly, the show on TLC featured numerous angry, sulky, scowling young people - mostly women - getting their arms, legs, bellies, backs and in some cases even faces tattooted by a tattoo artist in Miami. I think the show is called "Miami Ink". Difficult to judge people from a reality show but what I saw was a lot anger, resentment and, ultimetaly, just spiritual and intellectual emptiness. These people could only talk about either what pisses them of, or about the next tattoo they were going to get. It was quite disheartening in its stupid shallowness. Like watching an army of automatons, engraving ink in their skin, sputtering inanities. I cannot possibly imagine anyone's life being enriched by any of these people.

If only more of us could look away from the unimportant and mundane and be true to ourselves...but that often takes introspection AND hard work; qualities in short supply. I don't think someone like Jackie Washington is terribly introspective but he knows who he is and works very hard. The ink people have no idea who they are, don't work hard, if at all and need at least a smidgen of introspection to get them off their path of nothingness.

Soldier on, Jackie! You're the man!

overqualified

2007-07-01T08:33:00.000-07:00

On my way to a gig on Orangeville yesterday, I passed a large dry cleaning store. They had a big sign out front: SHIRT PRESSER REQUIRED, PLEASE SUBMIT RESUME.

It got me thinking: what kind of a resume does a shirt presser need to submit? B.A. in starched collars, M.A. in button sowing, PhD in sleeve tucking, years of international experience, personal shirt presser to Sir Elton John (for 7 hours only - Sir Elton fired me in a fit of rage, the bitch!) - and voila, the shirt pressing gig in Orangeville is yours for the taking!

Don't get me wrong: I NEVER denigrate any job and shirt pressing is as important - perhaps more so - than playing swing tunes to sleepy crowds. I just don't get the resume thing: I mean, why can't you just walk in, tell the boss about your previous experience, let him/her allow you to do a few shirts and decide. A resume is something that an engineer needs to submit, n'est ce pas?

In the meantime, we have doctors, engineers, designers, architects, dentists and professors with resumes up the wazoo driving cabs in Toronto. What a crying shame!

The Orangeville gig was fun....played at the train station before people boarded their special "Mystery Tour" train for a ride down the Forks of the Credit.

spring

2007-05-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

This is what my street looks like this morning:

Leaves budding, grass lush and green, everything in bloom, birds trilling. It's quite amazing that spring never ceases to delight, no matter how old you get. Sometime in April, when the drizzle and the sleet seem like they'll never end, you think to yourself: "Ah, spring will be beautiful, I'm ready for it" But you're not really ready for it. Once the colours burst forth, your amazement is much greater that you had ever suspected. It's fabulous. And although I'd love to live somewhere like California, where it's spring pretty much all the time, I can't help but think that the reason why the heart delights so much and why a song flutters on your lips is exactly because of the oppressivness of winter.

In other news, Hugo was really terribly sick last night. He had been having some stomach and intestinal problems for a while but we thought he was over it. Then, last night we drove up to Aurora and took him along. On the way back we stopped at Bruce Mill Park and had him run for a few minutes. All seemed great, he had a ball as always, running free of the leash. It's only a 20 minute ride back home from the park but Hugo became violently ill in the car. He kept throwing up till there was nothing left but foam. When we finally got home, we thought he'd get better as soon as he left the car (a bit of motion sickness, we thought) but, alas, no. He kept heaving and retching, ran to the back yard and started munching on grass (which, apparently, is something dogs do when in digestive distress). Finally he settled down and slept fitfully, then woke up around 10pm and dry-heaved again. We called the vet for a phone consult but he never called back. Long story short, this morning Hugo seems fine. I took him out for our morning consitutional and he behaved normally (i.e. sniffed and peed on every blade of grass in the vicinity) Now he's curled up on a cool spot on the bathroom floor (unusual! He usually snoozes on a blankie on our bed) and he's deep asleep.

Finally, gigs have been coming fast and furious. Good music making with my main man, Ian MacGillivray (trumpet) and my other main man, Braxton Hicks (clarinet, sax) I've been also working a lot with bassist Abbey Sholzberg recently and with my band Bohemian Swing whose CD is now completed and being pressed as we speak.

May we have a looong and gorgeous spring, a looong and warm (but not too humid) summer and a loooong and beautiful fall. And no winter. Yeah, right!!!

ear fear

2007-04-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

I've had a bum ear for about a year now. Approximately a 50% hearing loss in my left ear. Nowadays it's actually measured in db's, not in percentages but using % is a clearer illustration. The ear is never good but when not going through an acute episode, it's something I can live with. Unfortunately, this problem is caused by something called endolymphatic hydrops - in plain(er) English, there is an excess of fluid in the inner ear which puts pressure on the cochlea (hearing apparatus) and in some people also on the vestibular portion (balance). So far, thank God, mine is limited to the cochlea which means I don't get vertigo.

Every now and again - in completely unpredictable intervals - the fluid in the inner ear canals swells and my symptoms worsen considerably. An episode can last anywhere from hours to days. No predicting the onset or the termination. Right now, my hearing is almost down to zero. I have two distinct humming pitches (tinnitus) and a feeling like concrete has been poured down my ear right down to the brain.

My next gig is about a week from now, so I hope this will improve. I'll keep performing even if it doesn't but it's a tough affliction for a musician to have.

advertising

2007-04-01T15:00:00.000-07:00

The other day I drove past a bench that screamed in big red letters: "You have just proven that this ad works". I don't get it! How on earth did I prove that? I think I proved that I could read. Now, if the red letters had said: "Go to the nearest mall and purchase a pair of Levi's jeans" and had I indeed purchased said item - then, I'll grant you, bench advertising would have been proven to work. In this one case. But it only said "You have just proven that this ad works". Silly. I drove on.

Throughout my life I have made a concerted effort never to buy any product that is heavily advertised. There are exceptions, of course: I've driven Honda and Toyota cars and have seen their commercials - but there's no way around that. One has to drive something and all cars are fairly heavily advertised. On the other hand, if I see a commercial for Raid and I'll need a bug killing product, I'll scour the aisles for anything BUT Raid. I don't drink Coke and don't eat fast food. I bank with one of the big four- but most definitely not with ING Direct ("Eenvest vizz ING deerekt and safe your moneee") I will totally avoid any company that chooses to advertise in movie theatres. Screening commercials before a feature film is perverse and should be punishable by jail time. You pay $15 for the flick, $5 for the popcorn and $1,500 for a bottle of water (or something close) I think you have earned your right not to be assaulted by ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM or polar bears gulping down Coke.

I consider advertising to be the most insidious and creepy aspect of capitalism. Don't get me wrong: I am a happy capitalist and think we live in the best system ever invented in the history of mankind. But even good systems have weak points and advertising is one such point. It is vulgar and loud and more often than not inane, appealing as it does to the most imbecilic common denominator.

Some commercials (especially British ones) are quite funny. But they probably don't work. You know what works? Mayor Mel's son yelling on late night TV: Noooooooobody!!!

There is one exception to the above rule: ads - especially infomercials - that are so insanely stupid as to be entertaining. The same applies to televangelists. I get a huge kick out of those. Like the geek that does one hour infomercials with Hugh Downs, extolling the virtues of natural remedies no one's ever heard of (YET!!) but which are endorsed by countless Nobel Prize laureats. Or Dr. HO!!! You owe it to yourself to spend a few minutes in the munificent presence of Dr. Ho as he touts his massage machines.

I'm outta here....must go drink some water and eat some dry generic bread.

more health care

2007-03-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

Just to put things in perspective: I do not have all those ailments mentioned in the previous post. Some friends got worried about me and emailed...those were just examples of how broken the system is.

Incidentally, yesterday I waited an hour and a half for an ultrasound and had to reschedule because I could wait no longer. My resched is for four weeks hence. The waiting room was gloomy, somewhat dirty, very shabby and crowded. I cannot imagine it's much different from Cuba but I stand to be corrected. Not a pleasant experience: waiting never is, of course but the surroundings were terrible

health

2007-03-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

If anyone can offer me a rational explanation for the following, I'll send him/her a box of chocolates (which we all know, is like life!)

I get an excruciating pain in my jaw, visit my dentist and he extracts an impacted, abscessed tooth. I pay him $100 and go home, feeling great.

I get a panic attack, call my shrink (a psychologist in Rosedale), go for an emergency session, pay between $75 - $200 and go home, feeling a little better.

I get a urinary tract infection, treatable with the newest most potent antibiotics. I get a presciption, fill it for $100, start taking the pills and feel great.

My pet ingests a piece of rubber. I take him to a vet who performs life saving surgery for $800. My pet frolics and licks my hand, all is well.

I injure my knee playing hockey. The knee is not getting better. A few years pass and the knee is almost useless. I can hardly do any physical activity at this point, even slow walking is painful. I need a knee replacement. I go to Buffalo, pay between $1,000 - $2,000, get a new joint and feel like a million dollars. Or I stay in Ontario and wait another year or two in pain, crippled and helpless.

Please email your rational explanation why Ontario (and Canada) will not allow me to pay for my knee replacement. Or to have my tonsils taken out. Or for prostate cancer surgery.

Btw, I scheduled a gastroscopy last summer (eventually cancelled) I could have one through my specialist at his hospital. The wait was about six - eight weeks. A private clinic on College St. does them for about $70 - the wait is one or two days. So obviously, some private procedures are kosher even in our inhospitable arctic province...